Note: This post contains an excessive use of parentheses (like this); don't know why, it was only way to express what I was attempting to communicate. Apologies to the punctuation-sensitive.
I am the type of person who can generally remember my dreams. Not with a lot of detail necessarily, but I have a good recall of most dreams upon waking, most days. Because of this, I am sensitive to patterns in my dreams; most patterns (if they exist) I assume are subtle, so I probably fail to see them. That is, until recently.
I have had a bunch of dreams (I mean more than 10) recently (in about the last week or so) that are very much about where I am (in the dream) and where I am trying to get to, again, in the dream. Sometimes, I am in the US (but not in a familiar place, like a place I have lived) trying to get 'back' to 'Europe' (both in quotes because very undefined in the dream). Other times I have been transported to, or end up in, 'another place' and am trying to get back to 'home' (again, both undefined'). Sometimes, the destination I am aiming for is an amalgam of Boston and England and a bunch of other places I have been; other times, not. (Yeah, yeah, I am attempting to create my own sense of place: A 'room' of one's own indeed; now
I am afraid of Virginia Woolf.) However, the dreams seem to be very much about the process of the finding, not the actually getting to the destination. While I have been trying to think about this in my waking hours, it seems I lot of my brain is using dream-time to play out these issues.
While these dreams are not scary in and of themselves, they leave me with a
very unsettled feeling, most notably when I first wake up and try to figure out where I am (especially given the number of places I have stayed in during the last 3 months...). Perhaps the idea that I will be back in Boston in about 6 weeks and I will be sorting out my place there and probably leaving my last official residence in the US has got me (or my subconscious) thinking about place. Also, since my move here was
very quick, my sense of who I am and where I am (personally, professionally, in relation to myself, in relation to new and older people in my life, etc etc etc) is still
incredibly in flux, it is not surprising that stuff gets played out in dream-land. I only hope I find a balance between doing this in waking hours and having it take away from my much needed sleep.
I will be trying pay attention to these dreams going forward, however, they are very draining. I wake up and spend a good 15 minutes trying to sort out what the most recent dreams were. That in and of itself is a lot of mental work.
More as things progress...